Our soccer game sucked. We lost 1-4 and they were huge. There were barely any of them but it was really hard. They played really rough. I sucked it up today. This may have been the worst game I have ever played in my entire life. Now Keasey says he's gonna throw a ball at my head every practice until I stop ducking. I'm kinda really mad at myself so I'm going to run my guts out and practice really hard tomorrow. I'll probably be trying to kill myself with strenuous exercise for the next week because of this. It's what I always do when I'm not happy with myself or something that happened. I take it out on my body. That's why I do what I do. Whether it's justifyable or not is my decision, not everone elses'. I want everyone to stay the hell out of my life. I hate this fricking world and everyone in it. Just because I say one thing about you does not mean that that is always how I feel.

If I say that I like you and that I wish that you would ask me out, it does not mean that I'm madly in love with you and that I need you. It merely means that if you ask me then I would say yes. You're not that frickin important to me. No one is. I don't care about any of you. And to save you the trouble of having to deal with me, I should just go die.

I hurt myself so I can feel alive.